Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sex Education

The other day, I was watching the movie, "Babies." As I was watching it, Lars walked in the room, asked what I was watching and perched on the couch next to me. It's rated PG for maternal nudity, something I knew Lars would be uncomfortable with. So I said, "Well... You might not want to watch it because... well, do you know how babies are fed?"

Lars said, "No..."

"Okay, well it might sound a little bit weird, but..." and Lars cut me off with, "Don't tell me! Don't tell me! Don't tell me!"

My dad called later that night (he was on a business trip), and I told him, "Dad. Your son does not even know what breastfeeding is." My dad half sighed, half groaned, and commented that he would need to have a talk with him.

This happened about three months ago, and since then, my brothers have enjoyed saying mildly perverse things at the dinner table to make Lars uncomfortable. Lars gets emotional, and the Faj Mahal comforts him by saying, "Larfy, it's okay, don't listen to them. You and I are going to go to Baskin Robbins and get some ice cream and have a nice, little chat." As you can imagine, this did not calm Lars' fears, but rather stressed him out more.

Finally, the other night, the Faj Mahal finally bucked up and took Lars out. As they were preparing to leave, I heard Lars say, "Can we just, like, get ice cream, and then eat it in the car? Because I do not want to start crying in the restaurant."

When my dad got home, the report was much more boring than we anticipated. The only reaction Lars really gave was, "That is disgusting!" and "That is sooo disgusting!"

Anyway, Lars is definitely the youngest child. And as everyone besides Lars is now a teen or older in the family, the siblings and I find Lars weirder and weirder.

Here is an example of why we think Lars is weird. (Finn discovered this gem on the family computer: "Uh... guys, did you see this video Lars made?" Poor bored, youngest child.) You will probably think this video is boring, but I think it is endlessly funny.


  1. Oh gosh. I just had to comment. What a gem you guys found. Loved the ending of the video the most :) Please thank him for being so entertaining.

  2. DEFINITELY didn't think that movie was boring! So funny! What a gem!!

  3. Hurrah, your blog is funny again. :)

  4. Hahahahahahahahaha. All I can say is that just made my day. What a delightful boy.